Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, And I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Excerpt from The Road Not Taken  

                                          Robert Frost

      I have always loved this poem by Robert Frost. Most of us have come to a fork in the road of our life and wondered which fork we should take. Should we take the one that is full of comfort, — a path which is known, familiar, and safe. 

     When we are young we are faced with many choices and I often look back on the choices I made and that others who were  important to me made.

      As a young woman  of about 20, I left the man I was in love with and thought would  be my forever love, for a different life. He was young, not ready to get married at all and wanted to explore other options that were out there. I often wonder what would have happened had I not made that choice. Would we eventually have married? Hmm —  probably not. 

      However my choice, led me down a path I had never expected to follow. Shortly after, I met my husband Tiger, who was an anthropologist. He was interested in the Arctic and in particular, the Inupiaq people who lived in the small village of Kivalina. I was fascinated by everything he told me about the year he had spent there and really didn’t give it much thought to the life I might be leading if I married him. 

      When he finally asked me to marry him, I hesitated. Could I live in Alaska for two years with a culture I knew nothing about and with none of the creature comforts that I was used to? I remember hesitating but only for a moment and when I made the decision or the choice to marry him, my life was changed forever. I took the road less traveled and it made all the difference — the difference in who I was, what I believed in and ultimately in the woman I am today.   

      We moved to the tiny village of Kivalina, a barrier island 83 miles above the Arctic Circle. There, I was one of two white women and I was greeted with suspicion by the women who lived there. I worked with them, cutting up the seals and rendering the blubber for seal oil. I cut and dried fish, the way they did, often ate native food and tried to participate in all their activities. This was the life I had chosen and I was determined to love it as much as my husband did.

     Five months later, the village closed in on me and Tiger thought I should leave. I started to throw everything into my suitcase when I suddenly decided that if I left, I would probably be leaving my marriage. I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to do that and yet I wonder had I not stayed, what would have happened. By making that choice, was I in fact determining what the future had in store for us?

      In early December, on one of the coldest days of the year, Tiger brought the Coleman lamp inside to light . He knew that this was something he shouldn’t do and yet he took the chance. As he lit the lamp, the residual gas burst into flames. We escaped from the house but in shock of what took place, he made the decision to run inside to retrieve his notes. It would only take a minute  he thought, but when he went  back inside, he was trapped. Ultimately this choice of his changed the course of our lives forever. The dreams we had for the future went up in flames as well. Tiger almost died trying to save his notes and lived with facial scars and badly scarred lungs for the rest of his life. I often wonder if I had left the village if this would have happened at all. Perhaps he would have been visiting one of the families there instead  of being  in the house with me. He never would have lit the lamp and instead would have led a life without the seared lungs and the scarred face and hands.

      We all make choices and we never know whether these choices are the right ones. In choosing to marry Tiger, I lived the first part of my life in a way that was different from anyone I knew. If I hadn’t made that choice, I wouldn’t be who I am. I wouldn’t have the three wonderful children and seven grandchildren that I have today. I wouldn’t look back on the first years of my marriage as years of adventure, challenges, tragedy and hardship. My life continues to be a journey in progress —the choices I make may determine my future and the future of my family.

Be sure to read my memoir: Journey Through Fire and Ice available on Amazon and may be ordered through bookstores. In this memoir, you will see the choices I made as a young woman.